Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Freakishly Strong?

She is a head-lifting prodigy. I am comparing her to Jack who's head was at least 1/2 his body weight so he was not doing much lifting at this age, but it still seems soon to be looking around this much.

She held this pose for about 5 minutes today. Apparently she did not get her muscles from me!

Tummy time for this kid is a breeze. I guess we'll move on to more important things like writing her name and riding a bike.

Friday, April 25, 2008

If you want to feel 50...

then join weight watchers.

Really people. I feel like I can officially slip on some Jordache jeans, or swap my purse for a fanny pack because now that I have joined the WW, I feel as though I have taken the leap...the next step into momhood.

It is not the actual WW program that makes me feel this way. It is the dreaded Saturday morning (7:30 am because I have a suckling baby and wild toddler and can't get there any other time unless my hubby babysits) weigh-in.

From the time I walk in that door, I am surrounded by middle-aged, out of shape women who are undoubtedly suffering from hot flashes and have come with a group of friends for moral support. Immediately I feel slightly out of place. I look for my file and approach the "weigh-in" desk only to be greeted by an overly-zealous "after" product of the WW program who will look me in the eye after I step on the scale and find a positive atta-girl/you'll-do-better-next-time comment for my +2 weight gain.

Then comes the fun part. The meeting. The gathering of fat souls, if you will.

The meeting is where you learn special skills to help you battle your weight problem. You can talk through your struggles and celebrate your accomplishments. Just last week I was awarded with another gold star for my 5-pound loss. I got to stand in the front. People applauded. People cheered. I felt good about myself.

Some of the meeting topics include: Staying the course, Avoiding pitfalls, Know your eating "triggers".

In my Saturday meeting there is one man. ONE MAN in this pool of estrogen who is at least 75 years old, skinny as a rail, and keeps a notepad with him to jot down tips from the lectures. Last week when talking about what we do when we feel an eating trigger come on, he responded, "I fix myself a warm cup of tea and sit down to watch a show until my mind is distracted from the temptation to binge."

Really mister? With all due respect, do you really know what it means to binge? Do you know what it feels like to have children pulling at your ankles, barf on your shirt, no time for a morning shower, and finally when you manage to get both kids asleep at the same time all you want to do is reward yourself with a dozen warm chocolate chip cookies for a job well done? I'm sorry, but warm tea is not going to cut it for me. Seriously!

This same 130-pound elderly man (bless his heart) raised his hand last week and said, "I found Sara Lee DeLIGHTful bread at costco for only $4.00. It's only one WW point for each slice." I admire his enthusiasm. Who knows...maybe he's lost 300 pounds on the program?

Last week I heard a confessional from a woman who attributed her obesity to her abusive home life as a child. Call me crazy, but I don't think I'd be sharing such information in a group of total strangers. I suppose WW can be a safe haven for all to unload their psychological baggage.

Well, all strangeness aside, the fact is...I have an after-baby muffin-top/dunlop that needs immediate remedying. This is what keeps me coming back. And I'll be honest...each time I go, I feel more part of the group. I love the little old man. He's endearing. I love the chubby moms all trying for the same goal. I love swapping recipes with the lady who's lost over 180 pounds. It is truly inspirational.

Now, if only I could love eating celery instead of cereal. Or cherries instead of chocolate chip cookies. Or fat-free mayo instead of french fries. Why? Why does it have to be SOOOOO hard?

If you have a healthy recipe/snack you'd like to share, please tell me. If you need to vent about your dieting frustrations...you can do it here too. This blog is a safe haven. Come one, come all.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

We didn't sell her....

Many folks are wondering where lucy went? Yes, we do still have a daughter. And we love her very much.

We even have the paraphernalia to prove it.

Don't worry that this apron also comes with matching house slippers (compliments of my dad and his fetish with all things bizarre). Gramps also sent an "I love Lucy" plaque for her room. The first of many "theme" gifts, I'm sure. Thanks dad!

I'm still in search of a display cabinet substantial enough to fit all the "jack" paraphernalia grandpa gave us for our firstborn- Jack license plate, Jack in the box gift cards, Jack books, a set of silver Jacks, "You don't know JACK" t-shirt, Cracker Jack lunch pail, and the list goes on and on.

We are naming our next kid Hoobenstein. That should give ole' Jay a good challenge.

Here are some more pictures that prove our love for Lucy.

6 weeks and still waiting on a smile.

See, we're even sharing secrets. Ahhhh.

Hopefully this clears up any confusion that may have led you to believe that Jack is our favorite child.

P.S. I might get carried away with my new font, text size and color options. It's probably a phase...it will pass.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

just keepin' it real

I first saw the term BLENVY on c jane's blog. The definition: blog envy.

We all know what it's like to be looking at someone's blog and slowly starting to feel ashamed of our loser selves that we are not as talented, our house is not as cute, we don't wear designer fashions, we didn't run 5 triathlons last month, our kids are not treated to extravagant outings, our husbands are not as thoughtful, we are not as spiritual, we don't make organic dinners every night and yadda, yadda, yadda....the list could go on forever, right?!?!

Well, let's be honest. It's not like we look through our photos and say, "Oh, I look run-down, obese and have 2 inch roots in this photo...I'm going to put it on my blog!"


"Look...it's 3 in the afternoon and my son's still wearing no pants, and my daughter is in the same onesie from 3 days ago, my house is a pit and my breath stinks...I'm going to blog about it" (well, maybe I would?)

At any rate, sometimes it's nice to see a dose of reality every now and again. So, my brilliant friend Jenna came up with the Secret Shame tag. You have to think of 3 Secret Shames to post to the blogging world.

Now, I had a tough time with this one. I can think of a bunch off the top of my head, but who wants to know about my fascination with popping zits? Plus, I have already shared many shameful moments on my blog...lesbian hair, childhood pictures that should have stayed in hiding, my lowest motherhood moments, my varicose veins.

But lucky for all, I have MANY, MANY secret shames, so here are 3 more:

Secret Shame #1 - High School Ali

Now, I'm not ashamed of who I was in high school, just how I looked. There was a reason why BIG AL (my H.S. nickname) was every guy's "best friend". Who could blame them? The red hair, braces, fat cheeks, horrid make-up application, etc, etc. Darn you, cute friends of mine, for not rescuing me with a makeover. You were probably too busy getting asked to prom.

Mind you, these pictures barely make it out for Troy to see, so posting them for the blogging world is really therapeutic (or mortifying)!

It's BIG AL in the BIG APPLE! Nice doc Martins (most definitely a generic version!)

Get ready for the "nerdy chills"....
My junior year was spent in DC as a page for the U.S. House of Representatives. Thanks to cafeteria food, this hiatus away from my alma mater (go Eagles!) resulted in a 20 pound weight gain. I mean really, how good can you feel about yourself in a man's suit and tie every day?

If only I could get my hands on another denim ball cap and oversized jacket just like that...
I think my parents wasted 500 bucks on my senior portraits and to think that I handed them out proudly.

A date, you ask? two words: Sadie Hawkins
(and marie...are those moccasins you're wearing?)

Secret Shame #2
- I'm a Nosey Nellie

Yep, just last night I was peering through my blinds to get a peek at what the neighbors were up to. It was nothing eventful, but you never know when you may just be able to eavesdrop on a juicy argument or catch someone's indecent exposure. Thrilling, I know.

My most shameful (yet kind of amazing at the same time) nosey moment is when I broke the password code into an ex-boyfriend's email to spy on his ongoings. Needless to say, I got more information than I bargained for and in the end I was caught red-handed. Oops....I guess I shouldn't have opened those UNopened emails before he did.

Moral of the story...be careful where you lay your journal when I'm around. I may not be able to resist.

Secret Shame #3 - Gross Smells

I'll smell anything once. In fact, sometimes it's fascinating to me how bad something can smell. What brings me even more pleasure is when I can enlist another smeller. This drives Troy NUTS. I'll say, "Here honey...you've GOT to smell this. It reeks!" He never complies with my wishes.

3 smells I find especially amusing:

Jack's feet after he wears Crocs all day.
Skin folds in Lucy's neck
Asparagus pee (don't pretend you've never noticed)

There you have it bloggers. All the secrets are out of the bag. Now I get to tag Sheena, Adrienne, Amy, and newcomer Kasey...plus any others who are interested in the challenge.

Friday, April 4, 2008

strawberry fields forever...pretty please

I am self-proclaiming myself as the local strawberry expert. Having sampled (or gobbled up) 5 flats of strawberries in the last 2 weeks, from 4 different stands, I have discovered the reddest, sweetest, cheapest, juiciest and most delicious in all the land. (The land of the greater Temecula region, that is).

Here is the secret location:

Town: Winchester

Directions: Drive down Simpson towards town of Winchester. Go straight through the 4-way stop. Drive another mile down. Stand is located on left-hand side.

Price: $16.oo/flat $8.00/half

I am not messing with you. These will knock your socks off. Your kids will eat them like candy. You will thank me later. You can pay me in strawberries, not cash.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

i can't resist two things...

Chocolate chip cookies


This KID shoving them down the trap.

p.s. why doesn't my blog let me change fonts and font sizes? anybody?

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Jack's first haircut.

Until last week, Jack was a 19 month-old virgin to the world of haircutting.

We were going to pay 25 bucks to take him to a place like this:

But then realized that he might a.) throw a fit, b.) wiggle like a floppy fish, or c.) scream, cry and kick his legs the entire time. And after all that hassle, when it came time to take him out of that neat-o airplane he would insist on staying and cause another scene. So I think we were smart. We saved 25 bucks, probably a choppy haircut anyway, and we don't have to feel obligated to scrapbook some cheesy certificate with a lock of hair taped to it.

We opted for the at-home, do-it-yourself job. And I must say, it turned out much better than expected. Thank you, Troy!

Of course we we prepared with Elmo's World on DVD and a stash of marshmallows as bribery.

He wasn't so sure about the snipping, but....

he did like the vibration of the clippers.

He looks like such a grown-up boy now. (sniffle, sniffle)