just keepin' it real

I first saw the term BLENVY on c jane's blog. The definition: blog envy.

We all know what it's like to be looking at someone's blog and slowly starting to feel ashamed of our loser selves that we are not as talented, our house is not as cute, we don't wear designer fashions, we didn't run 5 triathlons last month, our kids are not treated to extravagant outings, our husbands are not as thoughtful, we are not as spiritual, we don't make organic dinners every night and yadda, yadda, yadda....the list could go on forever, right?!?!

Well, let's be honest. It's not like we look through our photos and say, "Oh, I look run-down, obese and have 2 inch roots in this photo...I'm going to put it on my blog!"

OR

"Look...it's 3 in the afternoon and my son's still wearing no pants, and my daughter is in the same onesie from 3 days ago, my house is a pit and my breath stinks...I'm going to blog about it" (well, maybe I would?)

At any rate, sometimes it's nice to see a dose of reality every now and again. So, my brilliant friend Jenna came up with the Secret Shame tag. You have to think of 3 Secret Shames to post to the blogging world.

Now, I had a tough time with this one. I can think of a bunch off the top of my head, but who wants to know about my fascination with popping zits? Plus, I have already shared many shameful moments on my blog...lesbian hair, childhood pictures that should have stayed in hiding, my lowest motherhood moments, my varicose veins.

But lucky for all, I have MANY, MANY secret shames, so here are 3 more:

Secret Shame #1 - High School Ali

Now, I'm not ashamed of who I was in high school, just how I looked. There was a reason why BIG AL (my H.S. nickname) was every guy's "best friend". Who could blame them? The red hair, braces, fat cheeks, horrid make-up application, etc, etc. Darn you, cute friends of mine, for not rescuing me with a makeover. You were probably too busy getting asked to prom.

Mind you, these pictures barely make it out for Troy to see, so posting them for the blogging world is really therapeutic (or mortifying)!


It's BIG AL in the BIG APPLE! Nice doc Martins (most definitely a generic version!)


Get ready for the "nerdy chills"....
My junior year was spent in DC as a page for the U.S. House of Representatives. Thanks to cafeteria food, this hiatus away from my alma mater (go Eagles!) resulted in a 20 pound weight gain. I mean really, how good can you feel about yourself in a man's suit and tie every day?


If only I could get my hands on another denim ball cap and oversized jacket just like that...
I think my parents wasted 500 bucks on my senior portraits and to think that I handed them out proudly.


A date, you ask? two words: Sadie Hawkins
(and marie...are those moccasins you're wearing?)

Secret Shame #2 - I'm a Nosey Nellie

Yep, just last night I was peering through my blinds to get a peek at what the neighbors were up to. It was nothing eventful, but you never know when you may just be able to eavesdrop on a juicy argument or catch someone's indecent exposure. Thrilling, I know.



My most shameful (yet kind of amazing at the same time) nosey moment is when I broke the password code into an ex-boyfriend's email to spy on his ongoings. Needless to say, I got more information than I bargained for and in the end I was caught red-handed. Oops....I guess I shouldn't have opened those UNopened emails before he did.

Moral of the story...be careful where you lay your journal when I'm around. I may not be able to resist.

Secret Shame #3 - Gross Smells

I'll smell anything once. In fact, sometimes it's fascinating to me how bad something can smell. What brings me even more pleasure is when I can enlist another smeller. This drives Troy NUTS. I'll say, "Here honey...you've GOT to smell this. It reeks!" He never complies with my wishes.



3 smells I find especially amusing:

Jack's feet after he wears Crocs all day.
Skin folds in Lucy's neck
Asparagus pee (don't pretend you've never noticed)


There you have it bloggers. All the secrets are out of the bag. Now I get to tag Sheena, Adrienne, Amy, and newcomer Kasey...plus any others who are interested in the challenge.