Sunday, October 25, 2015

For my boy

I have sat at this computer 50 times in the last 6 weeks attempting to articulate my feelings about the passing of my 22 month old precious baby, Charlie.  Each time I am paralyzed with fear.  Fear of my inability to write eloquently.  Fear of who will be reading this story.  Fear of recounting the details that scare me.  Fear of sharing miracles that are sacred to me.

But for my sweet boy, I have to put one finger in front of the other and type.

My prayer is that I can document all that needs to be written on Charlie, his life and his death.  It's also my hope that anyone reading this will feel of my absolute adoration for a loving Savior and an all-knowing God.  It is without reservation that I testify that they live and love us so personally.  I have always believed this, but never as much as I have in these last 6 weeks.  I believe our Heavenly Father has an eternal plan for us.  I will trust in His plan, though as a mortal it is at times hard to be patient.  I will never doubt the miracles I have seen and felt in the days proceeding and following Charlie's death.  I believe heaven's angels were sent to carry us, and continue to do so today.

Thank you for your love and support.  I hope you enjoy our little corner of the internet.

4879c

Charlie Troy DeGraff
 
October 27, 2013 - August 27, 2015

16 comments:

merideth said...

this will be such a special place. ❤️❤️❤️

Miriam Lovell Dyer said...

First blog post I've read in a long time. I know you will be able to give Charlie what he deserves through your words. 💙💙

cortnieb said...

You are amazing, Ali! They will be sacred, special words! You are always in my thoughts & prayers! Hugs.

kelly said...

This will be a special place, indeed. I look forward to reading your thoughts as you open up and let us help you carry this unimaginable burden. You are so very loved.

HeatherM said...

You are elect lady of God! I look forward to learning more from you! You are a fantastic writer!

Jackie said...

Ali, I look forward to reading you intermost thoughts of you beautiful boy. I can't pretend what you are going thru, but know you are always in our thoughts and prayers. You are loved by us all.

bBchronicles said...

Don't be scared Ali-girl . . . this is a safe/sacred place . . . just let it out - we're all here for you! Love you sweetie. Auntie Berta

Roney Family said...

Your will bring such a firm testimony to all of us. Love you and think of you everyday!

Marie said...

You can do this, Ali! We will hang on your every word, cry with you, laugh with, you, and be here to support you. You are an amazing mommy to your little ones. I live that you are giving Charlie this special corner if the internet. I have a feeling it will be a very well read corner. Love you!

Marie said...

You can do this, Ali! We will hang on your every word, cry with you, laugh with, you, and be here to support you. You are an amazing mommy to your little ones. I live that you are giving Charlie this special corner if the internet. I have a feeling it will be a very well read corner. Love you!

jayne wells said...

ill be so glad to get to know him better here. thanks for sharing him with us. love you.

Lenore said...

So many emotions! I'll be glued to this! I'm so happy you are finding the energy and drive to put this together. Love you!!

Marsh Lueck said...

Love that your doing the Blog again!
Love that you are sharing so much. Thank you for sharing your deep testimony of Our Heavenly Father & our Savior through this tender time.
I know that he knows us personally, it has been breath taking, emotional & a testimony to me to see just on the surface, way over here in Las Vegas of the tender mercies that He has given you. I have seen & felt it in your pictures, in the comments from others, I love it!
I keep wishing I was close to do just a small act of something to let you and your family know that my family & I are thinking and praying for you all (still).You are loved emensely. I have been checking your blog, ever since you shared that you would be posting again. (Like a stalker...hahaha)
Thank you for sharing, beautifully put and a great intro to all that you have to share. Cheering for you!!

Grammie Star Wars said...

Thank you for giving us a little window into Heaven with Charlie and your family 🎈♥️🎈

LaWanna DeGraff said...

Ali, have no fear. You have always been such an amazing gifted writer. You have been blessed with a gift to put your feelings into words that pulls the reader in and allows them to share with you what your feeling. I'm so grateful for your strength and willingness to be so vulnerable in doing this blog. Sweet Charlie must be sitting right there with you basking in your love for him as you ponder and write. I love how you share your gratitude for a loving Heavenly Father who blesses you and your family with so many tender mercies and blesses you with such loving, caring friends. I love and support you as you continue this loving, healing blog.

elizabethjudd4 said...

He is so precious! Your words make me cry every time I read them. You have such a strong testimony and are such a great example to all of us!! Xo