Thursday, August 16, 2007

1 year old + poopy diaper = disaster

Lately diaper changing has turned into an olympic sport...one that I am NOT properly trained for! I am convinced that Jack has a poop radar that tells him to squirm, twist, flail his extremeties, run away and scream as soon as I lay him down for a diaper change. Of course, for wet diapers he is an angel.

Yesterday, we opened up a pebbly surprise. I layed him down. Seeing the extent of the operation, I immediately grabbed a toy to occupy him. The toy was instantly thrown across the room. Then came toy #2...rejected again. Well, I better just move fast. So I grabbed a handful of wipes and started cleaning. In lightning speed time, Jack grabbed the corner of the diaper and flung it above his head. Pebbles were flying onto the floor and carpet. Oh, and I guess there was a little smooshy in with the pebbly because smooshy was all over his hand. So I act fast. While cleaning the screaming baby's hand and quickly gathering up pebbles, he continues his routine of squirm, wiggle, thrash and now there is poo rubbed into the carpet and my blood is BOILING! Finally we get him all cleaned up with new diaper on and he crawls away with a grin. I wipe the sweat off my face, clean the carpet, and await my olympic medal.

Next time I think I will just dispose of the whole package...at least until dad gets home!



And while we're on the topic of diapers, I think I am going to buy myself a set of these. After 4 bathroom trips during SYTYCD, and 5 during my night's "rest" I am ready for some RELIEF!

11 comments:

Rob*Sheena*Jonah*Lucy said...

First off. Sign me up for those super cute adult diapers! Such a cute design, AND I'm sure they come in handy after my two kids screwed up my plumbling.

Second. Good descriptive writing. I could totally imagine those pebbles flying through the air in slowmo. Just wait until those little 1year old pebbles turn in to 2year old mansized boulders, and then you're in for a REAL treat.

Adrienne said...

Lol! Oh Ali, you crack me up! I guess they just have to move, and to be on their back for like two seconds is apparently just too much for them! I just can't picture cute little Jack making such a mess....it's hilarious, because it's not my child!

Also, those diapers--you get out! That is hilarious...I love that the model is all trim and fit. I never had to pee like that during pregnancy, but that sounds like the pits!And the saddest part, it doesn't sound like that is a trimester thing that only lasts a few weeks. Sucky....but hilarious story, whatever that's worth.

Patience Roney said...

That sounds like you just explained every poopy diaper I have ever changed. But I dont think I have ever made it sounds as awesome as you have. I have a clear picture in my head of cute little jack.

The diapers for adults are awesome. I think I might try those at night time. Or maybe I could just use the diaper they give you after giving birth. I mean how humiliating can it get. And men sit there unharmed from anything. They plant there seed and watch it grow while we go through one thing after another!!! You are awesome!

Amy said...

Well Ali, you've done it again. You always know how to crack me up!

Rob*Sheena*Jonah*Lucy said...

wait--you just commented on my blog. why aren't you watching SYTYCD???

this is as close to a real time conversation that we've had

Heather said...

Laughing hysterically. Lance has learned the same thing and I am awaiting the handful of poop to juggle into the mix.

Todd, Janelle & Sydney said...

Ali, you should be a writer. I'm going to read your blog anytime I need entertainment now. Or when I need to hear about other moms going through what I am - diaper changing and all!

Leilani said...

Just wait until he does that when your not around and smears it all over his crib and himself. Isn't that a pretty picture.

Abi said...

Ali...I don't know if you know my hidden talent, but it's changing a diaper standing up. They can't move. It's not as messey and it keeps my blood from boiling. Try it sometime. Ok. It's not really a talent, but whenever I am in a public restroom people always are amazed.

Whitney Amelia said...

First of all CONGRATS on the new little one...That is so flipin exciting! You two have a good recipe for making adorable kids, I cant wait to see what SHE looks like. (I have a feeling its a girl)
Secondly... I feel your pain girl with the constant need for a restroom. What brand did you say those diapers were?

rockkinrobbins said...

I love your blog..it wasn't too long ago I was going through the same squirmy situation. Now Asa just takes off the diaper when it is poopy, gotta love kids!